I didn't think I'll end up speaking about myself. I wanted to speak out my mind, and to find connections between the things I do, but consciously or even deliberately speaking about myself has no value, unless it helps relating to others, or communicate to others something beneficial. uff... language, a tool and a barrier. That is actually what gives the name and the tone to this issue. I've been studying French, mostly alone. mostly with books. I started by spending the first 15 minutes of the day with the old and tested method of Assimil. The idea is to keep going, and as long as one goes, and as long as one is not challenged otherwise, the going is good. The problem is when one stops, or when one stops to assess and criticise. Now my break was too long, and I failed to retain most. I should sit down and collect what is it that I did retain, and then try to remember what was different there, how come some things stick.

Another interesting phenomenon is my research into direct democracy. I started with thoughts about social justice and self serving bias, which led me to read some of David Graeber's books, and now I am left with little to say. ignorance is such a peculiar thing. perhaps the focus of my writing should be ignorance, and not an attempt to impart knowledge. I moved to Spain in 2010, the very end of the year. I didn't know Spain. I visited Barcelona once for a week with my cousin when I was twenty three, can't say that I've known anything about Barcelona or that I even noticed that the spoken language was Catalan, tourism.. So, I moved to Andalucia fifteen years ago, and never visiting before, ignorance was my bliss. I spoke no Spanish, and every comment from every member was a song, and sounded that it carried deep poetic meaning. needless to say, that learning Spanish took away that magic, yet what is even more sobering is my idea about myself, how I thought that I will shed all my negative attitudes, and replace my speech with poetry in this once in a lifetime chance of learning a language, ended up being a direct translation of myself, or even worse, found more ways of expressing those same attitudes that I was trying to leave behind.